Cooking with kids has many benefits.  For one, it allows us to spend more time with our kids while doing something that could isolate us from them.  Another plus is that oftentimes when kids have a hand in making the meal, they will be more likely to eat it.  Cooking also provides countless teaching opportunities, the science of raising dough, using measuring cups, and learning fractions are just a few examples.  There are several great recipes on the Internet that are intended for cooking with children, or you could just involve them in your regular meal preparation.   It does take a little patience, and there will likely be more of a mess to clean up when it’s all said and done, but the memories and learning will be worth the effort.

How Does Family Night Work?

The general concept of a weekly family night is to spend an evening once a week where the family is together having a meaningful experience together. In other words, watching the latest installment of a favorite sitcom doesn’t count! The basic principles include:

The time is set. Having a standard time each week allows better family planning. It is best if you can pick a given night each week (every Monday or every Thursday) and keep it there. At the outset, this might not be possible but should be a goal.

Everyone commits. When a family decides to focus on family night, each member commits to making it work. That means we have to say “no” to conflicts. Teenage kids need to have the night off from work and school activities. Moms and dads say no to work projects, phone conversations, and athletic events. Athletic teams understand that practices would have to not conflict and if it means that someone doesn’t make the team, then the choice is made for family. This is one of the hardest parts of a family night program, but it is essential.

 Time is spent together. Ever been in a situation described by Stephen Covey as a “collective monologue?” This is where everyone speaks or does their activity but in the same room with others. Collective monologues are not acceptable for family night. Television, listening to music or everyone reading something different doesn’t count. Family activities on family night involve everyone together. Activities such as walking or hiking, playing board games, working together in the yard, being involved in community service projects, visiting relatives together and the like are the model.

No heavy stuff. Family nights are not the time for discipline, for arguing, for forcing compliance. If you make it onerous, you will have a mutiny on your hands. Make them light, fun and engaging. And a little variety helps a lot.

When my husband suggested the idea of a futon, I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t crazy about it.  All I could think of  was the cheap black metal frames, usually associated with the word “futon,” but to my surprise, there are many different styles of futons, and the frame, mattress, and cover all have tons of different options.

First there’s the frame. While many futons do have a metal frame, they’re also available in wood. I would almost certainly pick a wooden frame because I think it will look good in my play/game room.   Wooden frames use slats to support the mattress which results in a more even and therefore a more comfortable, surface to lie on.

The mattresses have evolved greatly from the traditional cotton and polyfil. You can get them with an exterior made of several fabrics, including leather, and numerous fillings. Some even have bed springs like traditional mattress, while others are made of space-age memory foam. They come in all levels of firmness from the most soft to the most firm.

The last part of the futon is the futon cover. Most people either don’t know these exist, or forget about them, because most college students don’t have the budget for them. However they are an essential part, as they keep the futon safe and clean. They come in many different materials and designs.

I’m excited about the possibilities, and I’m sure my boys will be thankful for a soft place to land after their exciting Friday nights!

I’m on probation. 

During a typical hectic morning, I was battling to get both of my boys ready for school.  I went into my bathroom to get my 4-year-old out of the shower, and once I turned the water off, I sprayed shower cleaner on the glass surround.  He had  Apparentlyhad his heart set on using the squeegee to clear away the excess water which apparently he could not do once the cleanser was sprayed on the glass. 

 He had a royal meltdown. 

 After several minutes of him crying hysterically and me trying to console him, he announced that he wanted to find a new family to live with.

I was heartbroken.

He assured me that he would come back and visit because he would miss his brother and his toy castle.

I begged and pleaded to make him want to stay, I even promised him that I would let him squeegee the shower whenever he wanted.  I kept trying to think back to any episode I may have seen of Little Bill for ideas on how to deal with the situation. 

Nothing.

I now remember one episode where Little Bill wanted to run away, so the family decided to run away with him.  Where was that when I needed it?

The more I tried to convince him that he was my little boy and that I could never let another mommy take him, he was insistent that a new family was indeed what he wanted. 

In the back of my mind I really wanted to drop him off with another mommy that would make him eat brussel sprouts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and put him on toilet scrubbing duty only after he had finished mopping all the floors and cleaning out the pig pen. 

That would show him. 

He would come running home with arms wide open proclaiming that his REAL mother was the greatest in the whole world.

Unfortunately I couldn’t think of one person that would be that cruel. 

Each time I asked him why he wanted to leave, he responded between sobs by saying “I don’t want to leave, but you’re just SO mean to me.”

I started thinking about my interactions with this middle child of mine.  Truth be told, he gets “in trouble” a lot.  I love him more than life itself, but he happens to be a little pill.  I am still looking for ways to control his meltdowns, encourage him to be responsible, and keep him from tormenting his little sister.  I feel so defeated when I admit that after 4 years I still haven’t found out just how to handle my middle child.  My heart sank as I realized that he probably really felt like another mommy would be much nicer to him and that time-out would be far less common in a different household. 

None of the blame is his, it’s all mine. 

After explaining to him that if he left our family that would mean that he would never be able to see his grandparents again either since they too are part of our family, he was devastated by the very thought so he agreed to give me a trial run. 

Probation.

I swore up and down that I would shower him with love and attention.  I would use nothing but positive reinforcement for jobs well done and make this house a happy place. 

It worked.

He loves me again. 

But I do have to say, by the end of the day, even at 4-years-old, he realized that he was running the show.  He missed his nap (which he NEVER does), he was hyper beyond measure, and he tormented his sister all the more.  Needless to say, while I made it past probation, I shamefully admit, I’m still clueless when it comes to parenting.

Any suggestions?

I have semi-recently ran across this fabulous blog, and I just can’t get enough.  Robin, the author of  Diary of a Yummy Mummy is a former prosecutor turned SAHM living in Boston.   After finding her blog, I dove into the archives and read several of her past entries.  It was immediately obvious to me how wild she is about her son.  I’m not going to claim that I know Robin personally, and I’m not trying to pass judgement, but from what I gather, she is a wonderful example of somebody who hasn’t lost herself yet completely relishes her role as a mother.

She has recently begun IVF treatments and actually had 17 egglets retrieved just yesterday.  In a recent post, she mentioned the fact that she felt like she was living on ”borrowed time” with her son before their 2nd child is born.  She’s already planned trips and thought of ways to spend quality time with her Little Man before he gets a new sibling.  I can completely relate to that feeling!  However, it was apparent to me that her little guy gets plenty of quality time with his mum without any extra effort.  

Anyway, after debating over several possible posts to feature, I picked one that I love for many reasons:

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It has pretty much been snowing here non-stop for about 4 days (4 days!) We all know that a little snow can’t stop us from going outside, but it can make getting around much (much, much, much, much) more difficult. Today I tried (emphasis on tried) to make it to yoga but alas Mother Nature got the best of me. My husband was working which meant we were going to have to use our favored mode of transportation, the train. Our normal 20 minute commute to the gym turned into a 90 minute one leaving me with a choice, take the LM to the bookstore (which I promised we would do before class) or head directly to one of my favorite yoga classes. Leaving the house I was sure that we had plenty of time to to both.

This was before I practically ice skated my way to the T (which ended up getting stuck due to the ice.)

Pushing what looked like and empty stroller down the road.

My little man definitely enjoyed the ride despite the white out conditions.

One look at this little face and I knew that there was only one choice.

And we spent the next 2 hours watching the snow fall from inside Barnes andNoble. Hey, there’s always next weekend!

-I love that while Robin got herself, and her son bundled up, braved the cold, and headed out to go to Yoga, one of her favorite things, she put herself aside and took her son to the book store:).  I love it! Besides, how could you resist that little face?  Seriously!

I highly encourage all of you to head over to Diary of a Yummy Mummy, Robin will have you laughing, crying, and leaving feeling inspired.

Thanks Robin! 

In honor of the new year, tonight we are going to set goals to accomplish.  We will set family goals, and individual goals.  Most will be shared with each other, but there will probably be some personal ones as well.  We also review the goals we set last year and evaluate how well we did with them.  We do this every year, typically the Monday directly following New Year’s Day, but last week we had a get-together with the extended family so we are a bit late.

I really enjoy this tradition.  I feel like it gives us a sense of direction and allows us to have something clear and concrete that we would like to accomplish as a family.  That way, when we are faced with a decision, we can determine whether or not it fits in line with our family goals. 

For instance, this morning my husband and I were talking about the goals we might set this year.  We wanted to propose a family trip to Hawaii at the end of 2010.  Doing so would force us to put extra money away to save for the trip.  Shortly after that conversation, my husband said, “we really need to carpet our basement.”  I was able to point out that if we want to go to Hawaii, and that is our chosen goal, we should get the money we’ll need for that trip saved and stashed away, then if we have extra, we could finish the basement.  Without the concrete goal of going on a family vacation, it would be easy to spend a little money here and there, then by the end of the year we wouldn’t have the money we’d need for the vacation. 

We aren’t always good at reaching our goals, but at least it gives us something to work towards:).  I guess our best is all we can expect.

I know this blog is titled, “Making the Most of Family Time,” so featuring a post about letting the kids watch tv might not seem like a good fit, but I say your wrong.  Sometimes in order to truly make the most of time with the kids, we need some time for ourselves too.  If tv is a way to get that, then all hail the tv.  I also think that parents tend to get down on themselves for being human.  TV happens, kids turn out alright, the world keeps turning. I just applaud Jill for being the one to write it “out loud.”  I highly recommend that you take a little trip to the world of the Scary Mommy.  You won’t be disappointed!

TV & Kids: A Match Made in HeavenSeptember 30, 2009in Mother of The Year

If you’re one of those parents who don’t ever let your young children watch television, I have some news to break to you: You have no idea what you’re missing.

You probably also never feed your children cereal for dinner or skip the bath simply because you’re tired, or let them chew gum rather than brushing their teeth once in a while, so I really can’t relate to you in the least. But, I must know, seriously, how do you do it? How do you get your children to sit still and behave while you take a much needed and overdue shower? How do you bribe them to clean up their rooms and eat all of their dinner without the promise of a show? How do you occupy them when they are home sick from school and just want to lay on the couch and be entertained? How do you live like that? I simply cannot imagine.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very conscious not to let my children watch more than a couple half hour shows a day. I know it’s not the best thing in the world for them and would much rather they be playing outside or building towers or making art projects. Without a doubt. But when I’m alone with the three of them, TV makes a mighty fine babysitter when I need to get things done.

We’re embarking on a 22 hour drive this weekend with all three children. Two full days of driving for a one day wedding. (Aren’t you jealous?) While it won’t be fun, it will be infinitely more bearable with our car’s DVD player stocked with hours worth of shows and movies. And while the kids will still fight and whine and fuss, at least we will have a few hours of peace while they watch the magic box in the ceiling. I simply can’t imagine it any other way. And I don’t even want to try.

I can’t believe 2009 is almost over!  This year has been one I won’t soon forget for reasons both good and bad.  Above all, I am thankful that after the end of another year my family is healthy, happy, and safe. 

Everything else is just extra.

I have LOVED having the kids home during their Christmas break.  We have been completely lazy and loved every minute of it.  Last night we spent several hours creating martians.  When they unwrapped the Martian Making Kit at my parents’ house on Christmas I silently cringed.  I figured a gift that would produce such a mess would surely have to come from the grandparents, but after much begging, I finally gave in to their pleas and opened the kit.

I had a ball.

I never thought it would be so much fun making martians.  The atmosphere was so relaxed.  We had no need to hurry, the kids could be late for bed, and the mess could wait.  We were able to sit, create, and chat.  It was perfect.

On a side note, my littlest princess has been enjoying her big brothers’ legos.  She enjoyed them so much that she just had to stick this

right up her nose.  Luckily, we also got the game Operation for Christmas, so I have been brushing up on my tweezing skills.  I was able to successfully remove the gear shifter without a hitch.

I hope everybody had a great Christmas.  Mine was fabulous. 

At 3:00 a.m. on Christmas Eve, I woke up to my baby girl crying.  I went to her room to calm her down.  I climbed in bed with her so that I could cuddle her until she went to sleep.  Just moments later I saw the first signs of the fact that she had the flu.  I stayed up with my baby girl and raced her to the sink every fifteen minutes from that point on until 7:00 a.m. 

By 9:00 a.m. everybody but my husband had fallen victim to the nasty bug that somehow  invaded our bodies.  My first thoughts were how awful it was that we were all sick on Christmas Eve.  But as the day went on somewhere amidst the trips to the powder room, I remember thinking to myself, “this is kinda nice.”  Morbid, I know.

But in all seriousness, for my family Christmas Eve is a time for celebration.  So much so that our day is planned out with extended family meals and get-togethers from sun-up until sun-down.  This Christmas Eve was far distant from that.  I spent the entire day in my jammies snuggled up to my kids watching Christmas movies.  The kids felt terrible, I felt terrible, and the only thing we all wanted to do was curl up with each other.  Minus the yucky part, I really can’t think of a better way to spend the day.