Family Goals

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Family Night

March 1, 2010 in Family Goals, Family Night, Parenting Techniques | No comments

I recently came across this article on about.com.  The author, Wayne Parker, explains the benefits of holding weekly family night.  He also gives useful pointers to help us get started, so without further adieu…

How Does Family Night Work?

The general concept of a weekly family night is to spend an evening once a week where the family is together having a meaningful experience together. In other words, watching the latest installment of a favorite sitcom doesn’t count! The basic principles include:

The time is set. Having a standard time each week allows better family planning. It is best if you can pick a given night each week (every Monday or every Thursday) and keep it there. At the outset, this might not be possible but should be a goal.

Everyone commits. When a family decides to focus on family night, each member commits to making it work. That means we have to say “no” to conflicts. Teenage kids need to have the night off from work and school activities. Moms and dads say no to work projects, phone conversations, and athletic events. Athletic teams understand that practices would have to not conflict and if it means that someone doesn’t make the team, then the choice is made for family. This is one of the hardest parts of a family night program, but it is essential.

 Time is spent together. Ever been in a situation described by Stephen Covey as a “collective monologue?” This is where everyone speaks or does their activity but in the same room with others. Collective monologues are not acceptable for family night. Television, listening to music or everyone reading something different doesn’t count. Family activities on family night involve everyone together. Activities such as walking or hiking, playing board games, working together in the yard, being involved in community service projects, visiting relatives together and the like are the model.

No heavy stuff. Family nights are not the time for discipline, for arguing, for forcing compliance. If you make it onerous, you will have a mutiny on your hands. Make them light, fun and engaging. And a little variety helps a lot.

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Family Night

January 11, 2010 in Family Goals, Family Night, My Family, Playing Together | No comments

Our family tries to get together once a week, completely unplug, and spend some quality family time together.  We usually hold a little family meeting, let the kids teach lessons about values we want to instill in them, play board games, or read stories.  I love the time we spend together and our kids still look forward to it every week.  We usually have our family night on Monday nights.  So, I have been thinking a lot about our plan for tonight.

In honor of the new year, tonight we are going to set goals to accomplish.  We will set family goals, and individual goals.  Most will be shared with each other, but there will probably be some personal ones as well.  We also review the goals we set last year and evaluate how well we did with them.  We do this every year, typically the Monday directly following New Year’s Day, but last week we had a get-together with the extended family so we are a bit late.

I really enjoy this tradition.  I feel like it gives us a sense of direction and allows us to have something clear and concrete that we would like to accomplish as a family.  That way, when we are faced with a decision, we can determine whether or not it fits in line with our family goals. 

For instance, this morning my husband and I were talking about the goals we might set this year.  We wanted to propose a family trip to Hawaii at the end of 2010.  Doing so would force us to put extra money away to save for the trip.  Shortly after that conversation, my husband said, “we really need to carpet our basement.”  I was able to point out that if we want to go to Hawaii, and that is our chosen goal, we should get the money we’ll need for that trip saved and stashed away, then if we have extra, we could finish the basement.  Without the concrete goal of going on a family vacation, it would be easy to spend a little money here and there, then by the end of the year we wouldn’t have the money we’d need for the vacation. 

We aren’t always good at reaching our goals, but at least it gives us something to work towards:).  I guess our best is all we can expect.

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