My Family

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Probation

January 26, 2010 in My Family, Parenting Techniques | No comments

I’m on probation. 

During a typical hectic morning, I was battling to get both of my boys ready for school.  I went into my bathroom to get my 4-year-old out of the shower, and once I turned the water off, I sprayed shower cleaner on the glass surround.  He had  Apparentlyhad his heart set on using the squeegee to clear away the excess water which apparently he could not do once the cleanser was sprayed on the glass. 

 He had a royal meltdown. 

 After several minutes of him crying hysterically and me trying to console him, he announced that he wanted to find a new family to live with.

I was heartbroken.

He assured me that he would come back and visit because he would miss his brother and his toy castle.

I begged and pleaded to make him want to stay, I even promised him that I would let him squeegee the shower whenever he wanted.  I kept trying to think back to any episode I may have seen of Little Bill for ideas on how to deal with the situation. 

Nothing.

I now remember one episode where Little Bill wanted to run away, so the family decided to run away with him.  Where was that when I needed it?

The more I tried to convince him that he was my little boy and that I could never let another mommy take him, he was insistent that a new family was indeed what he wanted. 

In the back of my mind I really wanted to drop him off with another mommy that would make him eat brussel sprouts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and put him on toilet scrubbing duty only after he had finished mopping all the floors and cleaning out the pig pen. 

That would show him. 

He would come running home with arms wide open proclaiming that his REAL mother was the greatest in the whole world.

Unfortunately I couldn’t think of one person that would be that cruel. 

Each time I asked him why he wanted to leave, he responded between sobs by saying “I don’t want to leave, but you’re just SO mean to me.”

I started thinking about my interactions with this middle child of mine.  Truth be told, he gets “in trouble” a lot.  I love him more than life itself, but he happens to be a little pill.  I am still looking for ways to control his meltdowns, encourage him to be responsible, and keep him from tormenting his little sister.  I feel so defeated when I admit that after 4 years I still haven’t found out just how to handle my middle child.  My heart sank as I realized that he probably really felt like another mommy would be much nicer to him and that time-out would be far less common in a different household. 

None of the blame is his, it’s all mine. 

After explaining to him that if he left our family that would mean that he would never be able to see his grandparents again either since they too are part of our family, he was devastated by the very thought so he agreed to give me a trial run. 

Probation.

I swore up and down that I would shower him with love and attention.  I would use nothing but positive reinforcement for jobs well done and make this house a happy place. 

It worked.

He loves me again. 

But I do have to say, by the end of the day, even at 4-years-old, he realized that he was running the show.  He missed his nap (which he NEVER does), he was hyper beyond measure, and he tormented his sister all the more.  Needless to say, while I made it past probation, I shamefully admit, I’m still clueless when it comes to parenting.

Any suggestions?

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Family Night

January 11, 2010 in Family Goals, Family Night, My Family, Playing Together | No comments

Our family tries to get together once a week, completely unplug, and spend some quality family time together.  We usually hold a little family meeting, let the kids teach lessons about values we want to instill in them, play board games, or read stories.  I love the time we spend together and our kids still look forward to it every week.  We usually have our family night on Monday nights.  So, I have been thinking a lot about our plan for tonight.

In honor of the new year, tonight we are going to set goals to accomplish.  We will set family goals, and individual goals.  Most will be shared with each other, but there will probably be some personal ones as well.  We also review the goals we set last year and evaluate how well we did with them.  We do this every year, typically the Monday directly following New Year’s Day, but last week we had a get-together with the extended family so we are a bit late.

I really enjoy this tradition.  I feel like it gives us a sense of direction and allows us to have something clear and concrete that we would like to accomplish as a family.  That way, when we are faced with a decision, we can determine whether or not it fits in line with our family goals. 

For instance, this morning my husband and I were talking about the goals we might set this year.  We wanted to propose a family trip to Hawaii at the end of 2010.  Doing so would force us to put extra money away to save for the trip.  Shortly after that conversation, my husband said, “we really need to carpet our basement.”  I was able to point out that if we want to go to Hawaii, and that is our chosen goal, we should get the money we’ll need for that trip saved and stashed away, then if we have extra, we could finish the basement.  Without the concrete goal of going on a family vacation, it would be easy to spend a little money here and there, then by the end of the year we wouldn’t have the money we’d need for the vacation. 

We aren’t always good at reaching our goals, but at least it gives us something to work towards:).  I guess our best is all we can expect.

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And a Happy New Year

December 31, 2009 in My Family, Playing Together | No comments

I can’t believe 2009 is almost over!  This year has been one I won’t soon forget for reasons both good and bad.  Above all, I am thankful that after the end of another year my family is healthy, happy, and safe. 

Everything else is just extra.

I have LOVED having the kids home during their Christmas break.  We have been completely lazy and loved every minute of it.  Last night we spent several hours creating martians.  When they unwrapped the Martian Making Kit at my parents’ house on Christmas I silently cringed.  I figured a gift that would produce such a mess would surely have to come from the grandparents, but after much begging, I finally gave in to their pleas and opened the kit.

I had a ball.

I never thought it would be so much fun making martians.  The atmosphere was so relaxed.  We had no need to hurry, the kids could be late for bed, and the mess could wait.  We were able to sit, create, and chat.  It was perfect.

On a side note, my littlest princess has been enjoying her big brothers’ legos.  She enjoyed them so much that she just had to stick this

right up her nose.  Luckily, we also got the game Operation for Christmas, so I have been brushing up on my tweezing skills.  I was able to successfully remove the gear shifter without a hitch.

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