I’m on probation.
During a typical hectic morning, I was battling to get both of my boys ready for school. I went into my bathroom to get my 4-year-old out of the shower, and once I turned the water off, I sprayed shower cleaner on the glass surround. He had Apparentlyhad his heart set on using the squeegee to clear away the excess water which apparently he could not do once the cleanser was sprayed on the glass.
He had a royal meltdown.
After several minutes of him crying hysterically and me trying to console him, he announced that he wanted to find a new family to live with.
I was heartbroken.
He assured me that he would come back and visit because he would miss his brother and his toy castle.
I begged and pleaded to make him want to stay, I even promised him that I would let him squeegee the shower whenever he wanted. I kept trying to think back to any episode I may have seen of Little Bill for ideas on how to deal with the situation.
Nothing.
I now remember one episode where Little Bill wanted to run away, so the family decided to run away with him. Where was that when I needed it?
The more I tried to convince him that he was my little boy and that I could never let another mommy take him, he was insistent that a new family was indeed what he wanted.
In the back of my mind I really wanted to drop him off with another mommy that would make him eat brussel sprouts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and put him on toilet scrubbing duty only after he had finished mopping all the floors and cleaning out the pig pen.
That would show him.
He would come running home with arms wide open proclaiming that his REAL mother was the greatest in the whole world.
Unfortunately I couldn’t think of one person that would be that cruel.
Each time I asked him why he wanted to leave, he responded between sobs by saying “I don’t want to leave, but you’re just SO mean to me.”
I started thinking about my interactions with this middle child of mine. Truth be told, he gets “in trouble” a lot. I love him more than life itself, but he happens to be a little pill. I am still looking for ways to control his meltdowns, encourage him to be responsible, and keep him from tormenting his little sister. I feel so defeated when I admit that after 4 years I still haven’t found out just how to handle my middle child. My heart sank as I realized that he probably really felt like another mommy would be much nicer to him and that time-out would be far less common in a different household.
None of the blame is his, it’s all mine.
After explaining to him that if he left our family that would mean that he would never be able to see his grandparents again either since they too are part of our family, he was devastated by the very thought so he agreed to give me a trial run.
Probation.
I swore up and down that I would shower him with love and attention. I would use nothing but positive reinforcement for jobs well done and make this house a happy place.
It worked.
He loves me again.
But I do have to say, by the end of the day, even at 4-years-old, he realized that he was running the show. He missed his nap (which he NEVER does), he was hyper beyond measure, and he tormented his sister all the more. Needless to say, while I made it past probation, I shamefully admit, I’m still clueless when it comes to parenting.
Any suggestions?
